For some strange reason this morning I find myself thinking about my dad. Getting choked up just thinking about the strong, consistent, joyful man of God my father was during his time on earth. Perhaps reading the Brett Andrews post about the passing of his dad and the kind words he said. I dunno.
I’m transported back to 1983, the Air Force Worldwide Talent Show in downtown Panama City. My parents made the 5-hour drive to see their son sing a 4-minute song. Though I qualified for show with one song, I changed it to Dan Fogelberg’s, Leader of the Band, when I found out my parents were coming. The chorus still brings a tear to my eye:
The leader of the band is tired
and his eyes are growing old.
But his blood runs through my instrument
and his heart is in my soul.
My life has been a poor attempt
to imitate the man,
I’m just the living legacy
to the leader of the band.
Yes, those words come from memory, fond memories of a time long ago. There were some 3,000 people in the civic center that night. I stood alone on a huge stage with my Ovation 12-string and a few microphones. I wasn’t the least bit nervous, you see, for I was just singing a song to my dad and I wanted the world to hear how much I loved this man, my father.
Emotions are crazy things. As I get older I’m reminded of good times and bad, joy and sadness. Lately it seems I have no emotion at all, stoic, even cold. Life keeps throwing curve balls and it’s difficult to know what’s around the corner. I’m completely confident God has this under control, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy or the least bit enjoyable.
More than anything I want to be the leader of the band that my girls respect, love and honor like I did my father. Not afraid to call a lie a lie, humble enough to admit mistakes, strong enough to discipline when necessary.
My life is a poor attempt to imitate this man, but I will press on knowing that one far greater than I has my back. Lord, I see you in my father’s life on earth. May our girls see You in my life, the one who is more worthy of honor. May they know that this Easter. Christ is risen! He has risen indeed! That is why we have hope.